The Luminosity Series (Book 1): Luminosity Page 15

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were in trouble, Aubs?” He sighed as I regained my balance. Shame overwhelmed me in that moment, wishing I hadn’t told him, avoiding him in a storm of guilty tears.

  “Because I can’t stand to see you like this…” I released myself from his grasp.

  “Like what?” he asked, his eyelids fluttering under the weight of emotion. I glanced at the headstone again.

  “Like this. So defeated. Knowing you can’t save people anymore. Accepting there’s nothing left for you to do but wait until you lose this person, or give up on that person. I—I couldn’t let you or anyone else down like that again. And now I did. Just like I told myself I wouldn’t.” I pushed the frustration from my eyes. His jaw tensed as he took in a breath, trying to hold back the pain. Gazing behind me, he watched the last bit of sunset gleaming across the tips of branches in the background.

  “Listen. It’s not you who’s letting me down. It’s this place and what it’s doing to people. It’s who we’re becoming.” I swallowed, focusing on the ground before closing my eyes for a second. “Is that all that happened?” he asked, glaring at me in suspicion, waiting for me to look at him. When I refused to face him, he sighed. “Aubrey... please… I promise you can trust me,” he said.

  “My sister, Andrea… I found out she’s pregnant,” I mumbled, shaking my head in an outburst of emotion. Evan paused, remaining silent as the tension crept onto his face.

  “What?” I nodded. “You realize what they’ll do to her if they find out,” he warned.

  “My mother has a plan to bring her back here. She’s going to hide her,” I whispered in a sob.

  “Man… this is serious…” he said. I nodded my head.

  “Things are about to get way worse, especially with the qualification letters coming out soon. I’m scared of what this will mean for my family,” I said breathlessly, ready to buckle under the pressure.

  “Hey… look at me.” He held onto my shaky arms. “You still have a chance…”

  “You don’t know that…” I said, nodding my head again.

  “You have to stay calm. The more you worry about things going wrong, the worse it gets.”

  “I’ll be disqualified. The odds are already against me, Ev.”

  “But our age group has the best chance, remember?” he said hopefully. I winced.

  “It won’t matter if my mother is caught. If I lose them, Evan, if they catch her hiding my sister, I’ll have nothing and nobody left.”

  “You’d still have me.” His expression tensed, looking me in the eye abruptly with a wince. I blinked away my tears, diverting my gaze.

  “If they figure out her intentions, they’d send me to a prison camp just for being associated with them,” I said.

  “I’m not going to lie, this is dangerous. There’s less people up on Cedar Ridge. Maybe you should stay at my place until things blow over. You’d be safer there. You could stay there until you’re sure your mother and sister are safe.” He spaced out, struggling to calm himself.

  “But what about roll call?” I asked.

  “Once the letters are released, they’ll be too distracted. People will rebel once they discover they’re disqualified. Why do you think so many of the homeless around town have disappeared?”

  “I—I don’t know anymore,” I sighed, running a hand over my forehead.

  “Aaron said they’re calling for more troops already, possibly even thousands more to guard the area. They’re preparing for full out anarchy, Aubrey. At least this way if something happens, they won’t know where to find you.” I gave him a long stare, analyzing his painful expression. “Look, I know you don’t want my help, but please just consider it…” he said. I nodded in acceptance.

  Without prior warning, the hum of helicopters pierced the silence. Evan stared upward, watching the auroras scatter across the oncoming night sky. A wave of dread washed over me as military trucks surrounded the cemetery. They were preparing for curfew—a nightly defense where the heavy presence of soldiers on the streets protected against looting or other forms of resistance. Even though it was still early, no one was allowed on the streets after dusk.

  “We should get back,” I said, taking a second glance of reassurance before he faced me again. As I walked forward, he grabbed my arm to stop me.

  “Wait.” He swallowed. “There’s something I have to show you. It’s not far, but we have to hurry,” he said with a sigh. Curious, I glared past him at the guard trucks parked along the road.

  “Right now? Don’t you think that’s a little risky?” I asked with wide eyes. And that’s when he lowered his shoulders and said, “It might be our last chance.”

  19 PROMISES

  Beyond the cemetery was a gateless entrance leading upward into the mountains. Hidden by trees, I trailed behind Evan as he guided me up the scaling path. The sun slipped against the horizon now, displaying the glory of the auroras on the edge of night. Chasing the lingering daylight, I worried we’d be caught after curfew. But at least out here, the trails had no warning signs, only remnants of broken chain link and abandoned rock.

  The late autumn sunset lit up our route as the cooler air settled in. As we passed the top of the trail overlooking the town, we stopped. Ahead stood hundreds of wind turbines, the same ones I’d seen my first day back. Up close, their blades were monstrous, soaring hundreds of feet in precise rows atop the peaks, their sharp, narrow edges eclipsing the light from the setting sun.

  “People call this place the blades,” Evan said with a smirk.

  “I see why,” I said, staring up at them in awe.

  “Don’t worry. We’re not technically trespassing here. They keep this area open to the workers so they can perform maintenance on the generators. You should have watched them build these things,” Evan said with enthusiasm.

  “This is… crazy,” I said, spinning in a dizzying full circle.

  “Yeah, but wait until you see the view from the top,” he said in a devilish grin. I froze.

  “You mean… up there?” I asked, reconfirming his words. He tried not to smirk again.

  “Just… follow me.”

  He led me down a lengthy path through the rows of turbines, and as the sun set behind the mountains, the sky gleamed a fiery red. Shadows of their vertical stems cast parallel across the rugged terrain, the swooshing of their propellers synchronizing to their repetitive motions. We followed the thin, sword-like silhouettes under the glow of the auroras. They appeared so close from on top of the ridge, it looked like the tips of the blades were reaching out to touch them.

  The breeze was much cooler now, with the early display of snow glowing white atop the higher peaks miles to our right, signifying winter wasn’t far off. From up here, the entire town was visible. I couldn’t imagine what was beyond the city, nor was I sure I wanted to. And as Evan pulled me forward, we neared a split fence that encircled the base of one of the turbines. A warning sign hung lop-sided, broken by weather and desertion, and suddenly, I was curious how many times he’d been here.

  “How’d you find this place?” I asked as he lifted a part of the fencing up for me to crouch under. Evan grinned.

  “It wasn’t hard. The fence around the cemetery isn’t hard to get past. But this is my secret. No one else knows I come out here.”

  “So you’re sure we won’t get caught up here?”

  “Nah. Aaron said the guards don’t watch the area anymore. Most of the energy generated up here only goes to civilian housing, so it isn’t a priority to them to keep guarded. Besides, they have more important things to worry about,” Evan said, wincing as I crawled underneath the fence.

  “Makes sense.” I blinked as he caught up to me.

  “Come on. We don’t have much time,” Evan said, nodding toward a large square door.

  “Wait… you weren’t serious… we’re not actually going up there, are we?” I asked, looking up at the circling daggers. Evan’s smile faded.

  “There’s something
you should see. Trust me…” he said.

  I hesitated as he pulled on the latch to open the door, its creak squealing over the whooshing of the blades. After we stepped inside, Evan lit up his flashlight. The room was an enormous cylinder. On the far side of the wall stood a large ladder separated by metal platforms leading to the top, and to our left housed a series of cabinets.

  “Here, put this on.” His voice echoed as he pulled out two safety harnesses with hooks, and a helmet for us both. But when he reached out to hand it to me, I hesitated. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

  “No, it’s just… it’s really high,” I said, my body shaking with anxiety.

  “I promise it’s worth it. You’ll be okay. You’ll be attached to a rope. And I’ll be right next to you,” Evan reassured me. I blinked, swallowing my unease as I grabbed the helmet from him. After putting it on, I struggled to secure myself into the harness. “Here. Let me help,” he offered. He was inches from me now, concentrating on hooking the harness around my waist when his glance flickered up to me again. Before continuing, he paused hesitantly in a sigh of guilt. “It’s okay if you don’t want to do this. We can go back,” Evan said under his breath, spacing out at the wall beside him. I stayed silent before his eyes reached mine again. I gave him a puzzling smile, blinking in shame.

  “No. It’s fine. It’s just my fear of heights. I’ll get over it.” I focused on the floor again before looking back up at him. Evan waited a moment before returning a grin.

  “Okay. Well, what will make it easier? Me first, or you?” He nodded toward the ladder. I gulped the air back silently as I calculated the distance we’d need to climb.

  “You,” I said. And within that second, his smile burst into a chuckle. My eyes were ridden with surprise before I cracked a smile.

  “If you insist. But stay close, and don’t look down, okay? I don’t want you ditching me before we get up there,” he teased. And after he turned around, I laughed to myself in secrecy.

  Before we climbed, Evan latched us to a cable that ran vertical up the ladder. I kept my vision upward as we continued our ascent. With only the flashlights on our helmets, nothing was visible besides the soles of Evan’s dirty boots above me. Peering past him was dizzying, and after climbing for just a few minutes, looking down was no longer a choice I wanted to make.

  “How’re you doing?” he called out from above me.

  “I’m okay,” I said as he stopped.

  “The entrance isn’t far. Be careful when you step outside. It gets pretty windy up there.” His voice rang.

  “Got it,” I said nervously. After pushing on a door above him, the auroras appeared again, revealing the vastness of space above. Evan climbed out, and not long after, I peered through the opening.

  The gusts were a lot stronger up here, the blades of the turbine spinning in even intervals, still stretching far above us. After hooking his safety cord to a nearby rail, Evan leaned down, pulling me to my feet by the grip of his hand. His hair blew steady in the wind as my body trembled from the adrenaline coursing through my veins, gripping his palm tightly to step up. My hair blasted horizontally against my neck as he held me in a fixed, stable foothold, but I was still hesitant to let go.

  “See? It’s not so bad once you get up here,” he said, smiling as I sighed of relief. I tried to calm myself, realizing how close we were from the edge. Keeping my focus on him, I became mesmerized by the fearlessness in his eyes. But when I examined the view beyond him, the open night sky and vast mountain wilderness haunted me. I gazed upon the rock formations below as Evan hooked my harness cord to the rail. Speechless, I expelled my fear and moseyed closer to the railing. “I told you it was worth it,” he said, standing beside me.

  “You can see everything from up here, even the city…” I said, my hair blustering in the breeze behind me.

  “Yeah, and even the things they don’t want you to see,” Evan nodded, gazing off to our left with a wince. I turned my head abruptly, looking in the direction he was. Far off in the distance was a faint orange glow—a fire spread across thousands of acres of wilderness. Ahead of the blaze were an array of fire tornadoes, their smoky vortexes reaching high into the sky.

  “Oh my god,” I said, my eyes widening as the smoke rose higher into the atmosphere.

  “They won’t say much about it, but there’s still a war going on out there. Aaron thinks the fires were ignited by the rebels, but… something tells me otherwise,” Evan sighed.

  “You think the military started them?” I asked.

  “I think they bombed the area after they captured that girl,” he said with conviction, a hint of agitation arising.

  “So many people have suffered because of this. Even back when I was living with my sister.”

  “What happened there?” he asked.

  “Same as here. People were starving, losing their homes. Some ended up on the streets and got caught up in the riots. Some were wrongfully accused, being hauled away to be killed. The funny thing was, some were actually grateful to be captured. It’s like they wanted to be put out of their misery. Now, I’d do anything to make their deaths mean something.” I was almost in tears now. Evan gave me a long stare, as if he was contemplating a response, but wasn’t sure how to verbalize it.

  “You know, there’s more fight left in you than I thought there was,” he said, analyzing me. With a shy grimace, I took a deep breath.

  “I don’t know what my problem is. I can’t control myself anymore. I—I never used to be so resistant.”

  “The problem isn’t you. It’s the way things have changed. Not a lot of people have the courage to challenge authority anymore. Or even admit that what they’re doing is wrong. People have gotten blind to it in the hopes they’ll be chosen to survive. The fact that you haven’t says a lot. You’re still real, Aubrey. And you’re the bravest person I know.” He stared at me in an unexpected admiration.

  “But there’s no point in being brave if I have no power against this. My actions only hurt the people I care about,” I said.

  “That’s what happens when you try to change the world. There’ll always be someone or something trying to stop you. But you never let it stop you before,” Evan said, looking away in pity.

  “What do you mean? I left you here, Ev. I let this control me.”

  “And you could have allowed that same excuse to prevent you from coming back here to change things, but you didn’t,” he said.

  Evan removed his helmet, latching it to his harness. He stepped closer, reaching underneath my chin to unhook mine before looking away abruptly. In hesitation, I pulled it off, revealing my messy hair, tossed and tangled under the weight of it. Evan stared toward the horizon, gripping onto the railing. Overhead, it was opening up again—the familiar iridescent glow, slinking like serpents against the darker portions of the atmosphere. It seemed much more vibrant from up here.

  I winced before grabbing his arm, and when I did, he shifted his vision toward me. Our eyes adjusted as he grabbed my hand, glancing from the skyline to me. Struggling to ease my pain, I clutched his fingers, curling them with his, the anticipation behind his glimpse making me cave as I glanced at the clearing, blinking away tears.

  “I almost turned around. I almost changed my mind about leaving town after what you said...” I confessed, ashamed by how difficult it was for me to admit.

  “Aubrey...” he trailed off. I observed his calmness, his willingness to listen comforting me, giving me the confidence to find the right words. He stayed silent, studying me, his eyes following the hair whipping against my cheeks.

  I swallowed before continuing.

  “All this time, I’ve taken you and everyone for granted...” A tear dried against my cheek as I forced my eyes closed in pain. He stared, frozen by my much needed confession as I let it bleed out. “If this ends badly, I just want to say you were the reason I made it this far. What you told me back then… it helped me hold on. You saved my life, not only that night, but every single d
ay after,” I continued.

  He remained speechless. Then, in a second of hesitation, he put his hand up to the side of my face, guiding his thumb along the scar near my eyebrow, the softness of his touch causing memories to flash through my head—recollections of the accident.

  “This won’t end badly.” He winced when I looked up at him. “You know, Aubrey… You saved me once too. After my father died. That’s why I fought so hard for you to stay.” I swallowed, looking out at the mountains in tears. “But you have to promise me you’ll stop blaming yourself. That you’ll let go of the guilt.”

  A tear streamed down my cheek as I avoided his stare. He placed his hands on my shoulders, pulling himself toward me as he kissed my forehead. Flashbacks of his father’s funeral, the news headlines, and the night of the crash disintegrated in my mind, until all that was left was him. He wiped my tears away with his thumbs before pulling me toward him in a locked embrace.

  “Promise me,” he said gently. I winced as he heaved his emotions, closing my eyes one last time. When I opened them a few moments later, he stood inches away from me again, gazing at the sky behind me with glossy vision. The moon was bright and full, rising higher now. Underneath its light ignited a kaleidoscope of colors—a phenomenon that continued to haunt our lives.

  He examined my face again, waiting patiently for my agreement.

  “I promise,” I said. Still searching for more, his focus ventured across my face, unmasking a true appreciation—a longing for my happiness—something that had been clouded by tragedy for years. My eyes watered as he tucked my wind-blown hair behind my ear to move it away. Giving him the only thing he ever sought from me, I smiled—an expression that felt full and real for the first time since before the accident. His relief lingered in my memory as he pressed his lips to mine in an unconditional kiss. And within the warmth of his comfort, I believed everything would be okay. That I’d find a way.