The Luminosity Series (Book 1): Luminosity Read online

  “You know why I went out there? I went out there because I was afraid you were right about this place,” I scowled at her.

  “Well, maybe you need to be more concerned with yourself. What about the qualification? What are you going to do now?”

  “I don’t know…” I blinked shamefully.

  “Wow. You’ve really messed things up, haven’t you? I mean, you’ve become a distraction to everyone in town,” Janelle said.

  “Then I guess that’s my concern, not yours,” I sobbed.

  “Yeah, I guess so,” she snapped. I was mortified with her accusations. But I didn’t have time to argue, nor did she.

  “Can we please not do this right now? Did you see Evan or Jake yet?” I asked, wiping the guilt from my face. Janelle sighed in surrender.

  “No, and I can’t find Aaron either. Everyone’s too busy buzzing about what happened at the hospital,” she snapped with a sigh. With tight lips, I spun around in a panic before grabbing my sweatshirt and keys. Rushing past her, I pushed my hair behind my shoulder as I bolted down the porch.

  “What are you doing? Where are you going?” Janelle called. I reached the passenger side before yelling back at her.

  “I’m going to find them. Are you driving or am I?” I asked, still tense. Janelle nodded stubbornly before barreling after me.

  16 CROSS FIRE

  We couldn’t avoid the guards. Cedar Ridge now had its own set of barricades. I sat with Janelle in the car, eager to get to Evan’s. At the gate, the guard handed back our identification cards and signaled the other soldier with a hand symbol.

  “Clear!” He waved for us to proceed forward. A loud buzz came from the barrier fence before it inched apart at a turtle-like pace. I bit my lip as Janelle tapped the gas pedal, trying not to look anxious, but inside, I was dying of impatience.

  Evan’s house was on the far point of Cedar Ridge. To disguise her vehicle from the military trucks waiting at the end of the cul-de-sac, Janelle parked between the flimsy, contorted branches of a dead tree. It didn’t take long to detect the solitude. Up here, it was relatively peaceful as birds chirped in the trees. But the overabundance of black crows pecking at the loose garbage revealed the ugliness of the present day.

  His father’s home now remained the only residence on the entire block that hadn’t been tainted with a red X. The warmth of its log exterior and quaint, private feel made it almost inviting.

  As we prepared to dash across the cracked pavement, I spotted another car sitting farther down the street. Not noticing it before, I cursed myself as I peered at Janelle, who looked ready to hurl forward.

  “Aubrey, come on,” she said, pushing ahead. Janelle had already reached the other side when I caught Evan’s front door wide open, swinging in the breeze. Panicked by the sight of it, I made a beeline from the sidewalk to the entrance. I stepped ahead of Janelle, who seemed paralyzed, afraid of what we’d find inside.

  “Evan?” I called, letting myself in. Smashed dishes and broken bottles on the kitchen floor signaled conflict. Janelle stood behind me, her eyes broad. That’s when I overheard the shout of Jake’s insufferable hailing coming from a different room.

  “I don’t care. I told you that I wasn’t going to stick around when shit hit the fan again. You messed this up, Evan. Just admit it. Instead of coming with me, you left me there to die. At least now I know who really has my back,” Jake said from behind the wall.

  “Evan!” I burst through the hallway leading into the great room. The emptiness of the room created an echo, his fierce voice ringing in my ear like an agonizing reminder. Ahead of me, Evan towered over Jake, who was leaning on his side against the floor, wiping the blood from his cheek onto his sleeve. Jake’s thick, curly brown hair was a mangled mess atop his head. He looked horrifyingly thin, his skeletal body structure a display of hunger and suffrage.

  “Yeah, I guess so! Because I’m the only person left who has the patience to defend your stupidity,” Evan snapped, looking Jake in the eye. Both of them caught their breath as if they had just finished their scuffle. The ends of Evan’s hair stuck to his face like glue. Jake looked hysterical, in tears, his cheeks red with exhaustion and eyes lost by their separation as he nodded his head.

  “I don’t need you to stick up for me, Ev. I’m already dead. And so are you,” Jake said in a shaky undertone, brushing off his pants as he stood back up. Evan glanced to me as Janelle entered the room, cautious of their confrontation.

  “Do you have any idea what you’re doing? The people you’re giving up on?” Evan roared in hostility, shoving Jake against a wall. I flinched at Evan’s intensity, but I couldn’t blame him for his frustration. I’d been upset with myself for years for the very same reason.

  “I’m giving up nothing. The idiots who choose to stay here, they’re the ones who have given up,” Jake said.

  “Jake, you need to listen to me. You’re going to die out there,” Evan said with a tight jaw, his nostrils widening. Jake shook his head again and began a short chuckle that only worsened the tension.

  “You think of yourself as a hero, Ev. Believing you can change people like your saint of a father. But you’re a coward to believe there’s a happy ending to this. No matter how many times you try, people always disappoint you. Just like her.” Jake nodded back to me. I swallowed.

  Evan grasped Jake by the collar, his fingers finding their offensive grip on him. Suddenly, all the air breezing into my lungs stopped as Evan examined me, a single tear forming in my eye. He didn’t pretend to act surprised by my emotional attendance.

  “So when’s it going to be enough? When will you finally understand there’s nothing left to fight for? That people are hopeless?” Jake expelled, struggling to breathe. Just then, Evan released him from his hold. Jake stretched the neckband of his shirt, coughing away Evan’s choking clutch. “Let’s face it… your father fell from that canyon for a reason. And it was because he valued the life of some meaningless person more than his family’s. He died because he was a coward. Don’t make the same mistake he did.”

  “You asshole,” I scowled at him in a breathy wrath. Just then, Janelle turned back around in confusion, grabbing me before I could move forward. And that’s when Evan’s eyes veered to me, bouncing back to Jake as his ruthless sneer invaded Evan’s vision.

  “My father gave up his life trying to do the right thing. He was far from being a coward,” Evan said. Beads of sweat accumulated on his forehead as he searched Jake’s face for something worth defending. Janelle’s fury unleashed in a death glare as she surveyed Jake’s deadpan reaction in front of us.

  “It’s too bad. All the money you lost... having to finally experience what it’s like to scrape by with the rest of us.” Jake gave him a detestable laugh. Evan’s eyelids fluttered in an infinite twitch.

  “Leave him alone!” Janelle shouted with tears in her eyes.

  “What the hell is your problem? Can’t you see he’s risked his life because of you?” I snapped, taking a step forward. Janelle held me back a good distance from him.

  “Because of me? You don’t know half the risks he’s taken. And you were the biggest risk of them all, Aubrey,” Jake said.

  “Shut up,” Evan snarled, lunging forward to clutch Jake’s throat again, mercilessly. Janelle rocketed over to Evan in tears, struggling to pull him back. I debated helping her, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it after the vicious things he said. My eyes narrowed as Jake remained standing there, still laughing as Evan freed him from his grip.

  “I could never figure out why she was so important to you. Now I get it. You’re just like your father, always trying to save someone. But isn’t it pathetic when your efforts are wasted on people who choose to leave you behind?” Jake snapped.

  My heart broke as Evan reached his hands out, launching Jake into the wall. Evan swung his fist out, knocking him in the jaw with a sudden snap. The jolt sent him backward, propelling him hard onto the floor after his back smeared the wall. By the time Jane
lle and I reached them, Evan was crouching over him, striking him two more times, the impact creating a disturbing thud against his bones that seemed to linger in my memory moments after. Jake was nearing unconsciousness before Janelle could intervene. Shocked by his defensive reaction, my body stung from the surge of adrenaline. When I caught a glimpse of him, Evan’s face was as red as fire as Janelle pulled him back up. Jake rose from the floor, blood seeping down the side of his nostril from the force of Evan’s blow.

  “You want to leave me behind? Leave. And I better not see your fucking face around here again or I swear to god I’ll make you regret it,” Evan heaved spitefully before turning around, ending the fight. I stood in disbelief of what just happened. Jake had always been less fortunate than most, but I never thought I’d witness the coldness, the numbness and lack of sensitivity that came from him that day.

  “Come on,” I said to Evan, grabbing his arm as I tried to pull him out of the room. He complied, keeping his troubled eyes on the floor, his breathing labored.

  “Get out, before I get the guards!” Janelle snapped to Jake. He stumbled out the door, nursing his injured jaw before spitting blood onto the ground outside.

  “What happened? Why was he here?” I asked, giving Evan a look of shock. He sighed.

  “Janelle, I need to talk to Aubrey for a second. Can you go make sure he leaves?” he asked. She seemed upset by her exclusion, rolling her eyes before storming out the front door in a huff.

  Evan stomped past me in fury. After I followed him into the kitchen, he slammed one fist onto the counter. I jumped at the sound of its bang. He leaned his head against the cabinets, taking in a deep breath before facing me again. I blinked in impatience as he ignored my question.

  “Hey! Why weren’t you at the fields? Just tell me the truth.” Evan adjusted his posture upright against the counter.

  “Aubs… this isn’t your problem,” he sighed.

  “I can’t believe you’d risk going back out there after—after him!” I shook my head.

  “I didn’t, okay? He showed up at my house this morning right after Aaron showed up. Jake was pissed when he found out I wasn’t going to go out there anymore. He accused me of being a traitor,” he said.

  “Why? Because you didn’t want to get caught?” I asked in disbelief.

  “It’s been his plan all along to leave the territories, but he was waiting for me to change my mind and go with him. When I told him I was staying, he got hysterical. And then he blamed my decision on you. I’m sorry,” he explained.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.

  “Because I didn’t think he’d do it. And if Aaron found out, he would have turned him in to authorities. Besides, I hoped to talk him out of it. I figured after our run in with the military that night, he’d understand by now he won’t make it out there. But he’s too damn stubborn,” he said, blinking hard. Knowing he wasn’t entirely wrong to want to run, I realized that maybe Jake and I had running away in common.

  “But he’s the reason you didn’t show up at the supply fields?” I asked with a forceful breath.

  “It isn’t a big deal, Aubs. They let me off with a warning.”

  “A warning? What does that mean?”

  “I lose my benefits for a month. That was the deal they gave me,” he said. I faced the opposite direction to cover my mouth in secrecy before he could speak another word. “Aubrey… It’s fine. I have plenty of supplies,” he sighed, grabbing my arm as I spun back around.

  “But it doesn’t make this right, Evan.”

  “What’s done is done. So why argue?” He looked to me.

  “Because the people you risk your life for don’t deserve your sacrifice. You’re the one who deserves a chance, and you’re ruining it for yourself,” I said.

  “The people I risk my life for are all I have left, regardless of how imperfect they are. I thought you understood that by now,” he said, looking up from the ground as his eyes followed mine, studying me.

  “I do, but you have to know when it’s your turn to walk away,” I said, pulling my arm away in tears. And in that second, I knew he never would.

  17 BLACK HOLE

  Gravity pulled me down, whispers of countless voices taunting me, repeating the message "hide" until I was dizzy. The space surrounding me was enclosing, but it was too dark to see anything. My bones ached against the solid platform, the air cold as my body shivered. My hands collided with a wall as I reached above me. It couldn’t have been farther than a foot away—so close the heat from my breath sunk down to warn me. Feeling weightless, I extended my arms outward, but they were blocked by another barrier.

  “Help!”

  Fear overwhelmed me as I pressed on the walls from every angle. Hyperventilating would work against me, but I had no control. The piercing echoes of my screams bounced back at me until I realized… I had been buried alive.

  “Somebody please!”

  My desperation to get out took over. I’d eventually run out of air. My survival instinct was worthless, but I couldn’t let myself give in. Not yet. Adrenaline set in as I thrashed, kicked, and shoved in all angles at once, but the box was inescapable. My fingernails cracked against the shallow ceiling above me. My effort would result in early suffocation. Tears spilled down both cheeks. I had little oxygen remaining, gasping on my finals breaths as I floated out of consciousness. This was it. I was about to die.

  Then, out of nowhere, gravity intensified. I dropped into a free fall, the light flashing around me. Struggling to regain my vision, I stood up from the ground. The sky was a luminous white, the sun a black hole. I breathed the burning of aspen and pine, their silver ashes accumulating at my feet like snow. When I twisted around, Evan appeared, his lifeless face now swashed in sweat as he beamed ahead of me, looking as if he had just escaped a battlefield.

  “Evan, we need to run!” I shrieked, grabbing his hand. But he remained still, as if I didn’t exist. “Hey!” I rattled him this time, panicked when he didn’t budge, his focus mirroring defeat as his eyes swelled with emotion. But I was just a ghost—invisible and gone. “Evan, come on!” I tugged on his arm. But he dropped to his knees in collapse as the surrounding horror unfolded. By now, the plume of smoke drowned me. My eyes stung, urging me to close them as the tears streamed out in a soft trickle.

  When I cleared my vision, the smoky fumes and the noise of pans clanking continued from the kitchen until realizing I was awake. This had been only one of the many nightmares I’d suffered from since the President’s publication. My fears, it seemed, always had a way of sneaking in and haunting my dreams. It was becoming tougher to decipher them.

  Through the curtains, the auroras still blanketed the sky, signaling it wasn’t morning yet. But it was too early to be awakened. In a sudden panic, I slid my hands through my sweatshirt as I crept down the stairs, trying to avoid their creaky pressure points. When I got into the kitchen, my mother was fully dressed and preparing a meal.

  “I was wondering when you would escape from that nightmare of yours,” she said, pulling out an old cookbook from one of the drawers.

  “How’d you know?” I winced in confusion.

  “I could hear you screaming.” She glared at me in concern. Embarrassed, I avoided her glances as she stood behind the counter, peeling carrots, letting their skins drop into the sink.

  “I’m fine. It wasn’t real,” I said with a sigh.

  “That’s good, because Andrea will be here for lunch.”

  “Today?”

  “She was able to bump up her visit last minute.” She tossed me a curious glance, expecting a different reaction from me.

  “When will she be here?”

  “Her transport arrives around eleven o’clock. It returns to Grand Junction at four, which doesn’t leave us much time. I figured it’d be best to get the food prepared before the guards show up for roll call,” she said. I tried to hide my surprise as she waited patiently for my reaction. My anxiety about my sister’s visit came to a
head. Andrea had spent the majority of her adult life avoiding our family, even before the announcement. Something about her sudden change in plans made me uneasy. And after what had happened at Evan’s, I wasn’t sure how many more surprises I could handle.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Three years older than I, my sister was a gentle soul, much like my mother. Physically, she resembled me—dark-haired, thin, and of decent height, but our personalities were much different. She was reserved, withdrawn—a person more worried about the way the world perceived her. She was the obedient one, the easy one, one who would never break the rules, remaining neutral to keep the peace. But when she stood before me after those four soft taps on the door, I sensed something was different. Something had been ripped apart inside of her, like me. Now, her shoulder-length hair framed her pale, ghostly face. And her skeletal frame put an emphasis on the darkness below her eyes. As she forced a soft smile, I assumed the news wouldn’t be good.

  “Andrea!” My mother reached out to hug her, rushing toward her in a tremble of tears. I clicked the door shut behind them after she pulled her inside, observing as they embraced. “Come in. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll go get us some tissues. Lunch is almost ready. Aubrey, why don’t you take her to the guest bedroom. She can put her bag in there,” my mother said, swiping the tears away as she left us standing together.

  “Hey Aubrey…” Andrea said, turning toward me as she worked up the nerve to speak again. After leaving on bad terms with her, I still had little to say.

  “Hi,” I replied as she tailed me into the bedroom.

  “It’s good to see you. I’m glad you’re both alright,” she said, placing her tote bag on the bed. I sighed.

  “Why did it take you so long? Do you realize how much time you wasted being upset with her? You have no idea how damaged she still is…” I said. Without expecting it, Evan came to mind.