The Luminosity Series (Book 1): Luminosity Page 11

  It was four o’clock in the morning when I snuck back into my mother’s house. As tired and achy as my body felt, my mind remained restless with anxiety—fear for the girl, for Jake, and for Evan. Between the drifting moments of subconscious, I woke up shaken at the shuddering of helicopters. The thought of Evan going back out there again haunted me out of sleep. Even after seeing how this new world changed him, losing him again would be my final straw. And I’d do everything in my power to prevent that from happening, no matter if he had forgiven me or not.

  13 LIAR

  It was early dawn, an hour before sunrise. That morning, my mother pulled me out of bed just before the soldiers showed up, eager to discuss something. Dreading to find out what, I examined the two men facing the staircase as we awaited their confirmation.

  My eyes stalked the guards’ every movement, their hesitation igniting my suspicion. My mother stood beside me, her vacant stare beaming into the thin air ahead of us. She stayed still as a board, like she always did during roll call. Meanwhile, the soldiers verified our citizen identification cards into their scanners, the loud piercing beeps forcing me to flinch.

  “Clear,” the guard said.

  I was ready to let out a relieved sigh, but the soldier shot back around to confront me.

  “Miss, I need you to clarify how you obtained that injury on your face.”

  I froze, blinking rapidly before focusing my attention to my mom, who now touted an unsettled expression.

  “Oh, it’s nothing. I slipped on some rocks while jogging yesterday,” I lied, withholding my dread. He directed his long stare at me, his eyes narrowing.

  “You are aware of the repercussions of lying to authorities, miss?” he asked. I swallowed.

  “Yeah, I guess I had too much on my mind with the colony qualification results. I wasn’t watching where I was going,” I said with a twitch, striving to play it cool.

  “Let me caution you, ma’am, if you neglect to notify a violent act or threat from an insurgent or anybody violating the—”

  “It was an accident, sir. That’s all,” I interrupted, resisting the apprehension. His shoulders fell, appalled by my decision to cut him off.

  “Accident or not, we need to maintain a close eye on harmed civilians, especially out here. We assume no pardons for these types of actions,” he said.

  “I understand, but—”

  “What you should realize by now, miss, is that we must have strict regulation over our citizens. It’s imperative to punish those who don’t obey the laws. As a precaution, I’m sending extra guards to administer the border near this area,” the soldier said.

  “But—”

  “All clear!” the guard yelled as he spun back around, ignoring us. I winced as the soldiers coursed down the dusty driveway, back into town. After glancing at my mother out of the corner of my eye, her wicked gaze indicated what was about to transpire.

  “Where did you go last night?” she asked.

  “I was at the hospital. They requested I work overtime,” I lied.

  “Aubrey, I saw your security badge sitting on your dresser. You weren’t at the hospital, so don’t lie to me,” she said with an unsteady, urgent tone. I exhaled.

  “Mom, I—”

  “And do you have any idea the risk you put yourself in by lying to them? Slipped and fell? What is the matter with you? You’re already a low priority for the colony selection as it is!” she shrieked.

  “As if it wasn’t hard enough being under constant surveillance in town, now I have to worry about you spying on me?” I asked in a huff.

  “You know how serious this is. We have to obey their rules or else you’ll lose your chance,” she scowled.

  “So I’m not allowed to break the rules, but you are? I wasn’t the one who stole those medications. I didn’t get involved in the riots, protest, or mess up this family. So how can you stand here and accuse me of some lie that isn’t even half as bad as what you’ve done?” I yelled, out of breath behind the train wreck of words spewing from my tongue.

  “Aubrey, you wouldn’t understand. That was over a year ago… I wasn’t handling things well at the time,” my mother choked, looking away to avoid her tears.

  “I came back to help you, not for you to tell me what to do. I’m under enough scrutiny in town. I have to watch as sick people die. Not to mention, deal with people who tell me I can’t be trusted. Because of your reputation, I’ll never have a good chance,” I said.

  “You need to listen… your father—”

  “Now you want to talk about dad?” I asked in fury.

  “It’s important that I tell you something,” she said in a low voice.

  “You know what? Forget it. I don’t care anymore. I’m sick and tired of trying to figure out your stupid riddles, mom.”

  “Aubrey, damn it. Stop acting like a child. Get back here! I know you’re in some sort of trouble!” she yelled as I stormed away, gripping the edge of the staircase. And when her fierce-toned words shook me, I stopped in my tracks. My mother placed her hands on my shoulders, turning me around abruptly. I looked up to her, wide-eyed and furious. “I saw you sneak out of the house last night. I want to know where you went that would force you to be so secretive, and past curfew no less. Please just tell me,” she said.

  “It doesn’t matter where I went. I just needed time alone to think,” I mumbled, my eyes drifting away from hers.

  “What happened to your face? Did a guard do that?” she asked.

  “No. I got into an argument with another girl. It isn’t a big deal.” My mother surrendered.

  “Fine. But I’m warning you, you don’t leave this house after curfew again. You hear me? If you sabotage your life now, everything your father did would be for nothing. Is that what you want?” she asked, her voice shaky and uncertain again. Something about her words made little sense. My father died long before any of this. He never would’ve had the chance to know the nightmare we’d be living through. But I didn’t have the patience to ask about him again.

  “A real father would never force their daughter to grow up within the walls of this—this prison. But don’t worry mom, you’ve already won.” Before turning around, I remembered the compass, tucked discretely within my pillowcase upstairs. Again, I wanted to tell my mother everything, to ask her if it belonged to him, but something inside me remained fearful of the truth. Perhaps she didn’t deserve to know I had it. Not after concealing it all this time. Keeping me oblivious to my family history was cruel. Much as how the compass had brought me to speculate about my father even more. Still, my fear of what the numbers and symbols meant overshadowed my curiosity. And something in me insisted on finding explanation, knowing one day, before this was over, my questions would have to be answered.

  “Okay. We don’t have to discuss your father right now. But can we please sit and talk?” she asked.

  I rolled an eye before nodding toward the kitchen table. I pulled out a chair, the sound of its legs dragging and screeching against the tile flooring. My mother sat across from me as I rested my arms on the surface in front of me, impatiently. Without expecting it, she leaned forward, reaching out to grasp my hands.

  “I never meant to hurt you, Aubrey. After all we had been through with your accident, I had to keep you close so I could protect you. I knew you’d have to face this injustice on your own someday, even with promises being made by our leaders. And one day I wouldn’t be there to guide you, or lead you in the right direction.” She sighed before letting out a faint laugh and shook her head. “You both are so much like your father, it’s almost painful for me to look at you sometimes. It tricks me into believing a piece of him is still here,” she said.

  “Mom…” I said in concern, blinking in confusion as she clutched my fingers tightly, in tears now, clearing her throat.

  “After you left, I felt powerless. I couldn’t make things right, at least not in the time it took for both of my daughters to want nothing to do with me anymore.”


  “I didn’t realize what I was doing,” I intervened, tearing up.

  “You needed to escape, Aubrey. So did I. And so did Andrea. But we can’t run from this. All we can do is hide within ourselves, within these walls,” my mother said. I sat in silence as I tried to come up with a response, but I was at a loss for words after what she said.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I get it. You wanted to take back your life. The thing is though… it’s a losing battle. The people in power will always control our future, regardless of how far we try to run, no matter how much we want to avoid being a part of this,” she said. When I absorbed her dialogue, I realized that for the first time, I related to her advice. And now, I saw how broken she really was. “But if I’ve learned anything from this experience, it’s that we don’t know the control we have. And sometimes, the only way to stay alive is to take the risk, no matter the cost. That’s why I stole those drugs. I didn’t do it for selfish reasons. I did it because I was worried about the future of this family,” she added, spacing out. My mother and I stayed silent for a while. A few seconds passed before her eyes watered up again, dropping a tear against the table. I couldn’t imagine how she must have thought herself to death over the past few years.

  “I know.”

  She stood up to give me a hug.

  “Whatever happens, just remember that you matter,” she said.

  “So do you,” I said, continuing to embrace her.

  “The news about your colony qualification could come any day now... your sister’s too. I want you to be prepared,” she said, swallowing.

  “Have you heard from Andrea yet?” I asked. She paused.

  “I was going to tell you I received a letter from her last week.” I glanced up at her in shock.

  “She wrote to you?” My mother nodded with a tearful smile.

  “Andrea said if she can be granted a travel pardon, she wants to come visit sometime within the next few weeks. She has something important she’d like to tell us, but wouldn’t say what it was in her letter.” My mother nodded in confusion as I swallowed hard.

  “Maybe it’s about her results.” A dreadful feeling came over me.

  “Well, even if it’s bad, we stay strong and we don’t give up, okay?” she said in a shaky voice. I nodded before breathing out heavily. “Your sister sounded apologetic in the letter. It might just be guilt. But we have to prepare ourselves for the news,” she said.

  “This isn’t fair,” I said, shaking my head.

  “None of this is fair. Everyone is entitled a chance at a future. Especially after living in this time. You’ll find a reason to fight for it. But you have to believe you can make it through, Aubrey, regardless of the odds, regardless of their decisions,” she said, peeling a strand of hair away from my face. Her voice quivered as she grimaced. I wiped away the tears as I looked back at her.

  “But what if I can’t?” I asked in a dull tone.

  “You wouldn’t still be here if you couldn’t. Listen, even though it was hard without your father, you kept me fighting. Your life gave me a sense of importance, and that’s all I needed,” she said with a slight smile. And that was when Evan’s words hit me.

  “She’s more important than she thinks.”

  Back then, I didn’t understand what he meant by that. Back then, my life was a sequence of tragic events I allowed to consume me. Now, after years had passed, I finally understood why Evan acted the way he did after his father died. We lived, not only for ourselves, but for all the other people who’d be left behind after the lights went out. That included more people than I imagined. Just as Evan once did, I swore to myself in that moment I’d never let my tragedies take that purpose from me again. And through all the deaths I’d witnessed in those last three years, I’d redeem them. I’d make them matter.

  14 LETHAL

  Before reporting to the hospital that afternoon, I drove to the supply fields on a quest to find Evan. One glimpse would reassure me everything was fine—that he hadn’t gone after Jake like the fool I feared he could be. I stood beside the car, same place as before—near the familiar cluster of trucks and shipping containers. But amongst the nameless workers behind the chain-linked fence, none were him. Fear shot through me in that instant—so powerful, in fact, I hadn’t even noticed the guards approaching me from the street.

  “Ma’am, this is a restricted area. You need to move your vehicle now,” a guard called out at me louder than necessary. I winced at his tone, still unsatisfied by Evan’s absence.

  As I rushed through the parking lot of the hospital, I wanted to tell myself Evan was fine, that maybe he wasn’t scheduled at the fields today. Then, I remembered no one had a day off in the supply fields. By regulation, no man would be excused out of the supply duties unless he was dying or in trouble with authorities. The thought didn’t provoke much confidence.

  I scrambled through the hospital, eager to find Janelle before my shift started. Lunging through the hallways, I bypassed the guards at each entrance, when without expecting it, a guard shouted out from behind me.

  “Slow it down, ma’am!” I carried on, slower this time, but the panic inside me continued to elevate, still warning me of danger. As soon as I rounded the corner out of the guard’s sight, I shot forward again. With the air entering my lungs at a rapid progression, the usual sting of discomfort ached behind my chest, longing for a break. It was the same pain I experienced before the accident—the same sinking feeling. And when I slowed down to approach the next hallway, Janelle’s familiar red hair burst into view as she plummeted into me.

  “Janelle!” I gasped. She looked just as surprised as I did.

  “Shh!” she said, snatching the back of my shirt before looking both ways down the vacant corridor. After dragging me into a nearby supply closet, she locked the door, revealing a small flashlight that gleamed in a line through the dusty blackness.

  “You scared the shit out of me!” I complained in a heavy sigh, working to calm myself.

  “Me? I’m not the one sprinting through the halls. I saw you in the parking lot, then I heard a guard yelling at you. I figured I’d stop you before you got yourself in trouble. What’s the matter with you anyway?” she asked. I rested for a minute, still choking back air.

  “It’s Evan. I think he may have gone after Jake,” I said, wide-eyed and suspicious.

  “What? Aaron just told me he was at Evan’s this morning,” Janelle said with a lifted eyebrow.

  “He was?”

  “Yeah. He made Evan swear that he wouldn’t say anything about the tunnel if the authorities questioned him about Jake’s disappearance. He agreed,” Janelle said, letting out a sigh.

  “So no one’s seen Jake yet?” I asked, blinking hard.

  “No…”

  “Is that why Evan wasn’t at the fields?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe you just didn’t see him. It’s chaotic at the fields. Besides, none of us got a lot of sleep last night,” Janelle said.

  “I would have noticed him if he was there, Janelle,” I said. “I’ve driven past there every day on my way to the hospital. He’s always been in the same spot.” Janelle sighed.

  “Look, I’ll ask Aaron if he’s heard from him after my shift is over. But I have about ten minutes left before I can clock out. When’s your first break?” she asked.

  “Not until six o’clock,” I sighed.

  “Shit. That doesn’t leave me much time. I’ll try to come back and fill you in on what’s going on, but I won’t be able to get through the hospital’s security gate if it’s after curfew,” she said.

  “What if Jake is still out there somewhere?” I panicked.

  “Then there’s nothing we can do,” Janelle sighed. I winced.

  “You know Evan isn’t going to let this go easily,” I said, thinking back to his father’s death, and the day I left town.

  “He can handle himself, Aubrey.”

  “I just don’t want him to think he’s responsible for this,”
I said.

  “He already thinks he is. And it’s because he lets Jake play off his guilt,” Janelle said, looking down.

  “All the more reason he shouldn’t be risking his life for him,” I snapped.

  “Jake’s probably better off out there anyway,” she said.

  “What? How can you say that after what almost happened to us?” I asked, shaking my head. Janelle rolled an eye.

  “Look, I know it’s dangerous out there, but I can’t help wondering what’s worse. Being in here, or being out there?” Janelle said.

  “You know the answer to that,” I said.

  “No, Aubrey. I don’t,” she said, tears now forming in her eyes. I was stunned by the turn of the conversation.

  “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” I asked.

  “I was up on the fifth floor today. The newborns are gone, Aubrey. All the labels had red X’s on them as of this morning. And things only seem to be getting worse in town. I mean, I’m aware this is standard operation around here, but did you know they opened up a second facility for euthanasia? Most of the people at the homeless shelter disappeared too. I’m seeing it more and more… they’re giving up on these patients, Aubrey. I don’t get it. It’s almost like they’re picking people off, trying to get rid of people on purpose,” Janelle rambled in disgust. Like the force of a thousand knives, her words pierced through me all at once.

  “What?” I asked, my face a wrinkled expression of suspicion.

  “It probably sounds worse than it is, but I couldn’t get it out of my head today. It’s like when you hear of someone who’s escaped. After they announce who was captured, you remember at one part of your life, you knew who that person was, even if you were just an acquaintance, and then it hits you. You’ll never see them again,” Janelle said, swallowing down the emotion seeping into her words. By now, I was shaking inside, but I couldn’t let go of my real focus.